I'm banning myself from playing the lottery You can't win if you don't play, right? Right. But I just can't buy lottery tickets. I get way too upset when I don't win. It's ridiculous. Once I was so convinced that I was going to win the lottery that I was planning which words I'd use to quit my job: 1. I KAAAAAAA-WIT! 2. I'm rich and I don't need you anymore. 3. Work is for chumps. 4. SEE YA. 5. Yeah, hi. I'm rich now so I don't need to be paid to look at you anymore. But thanks! It was fun. 6. Guess what? I won't be in today. OR EVER. You get the idea. Or would I give them a respectable two weeks' notice? (Yeah. RIGHT.) We would buy a house in San Francisco and probably one in Tuscany. Ahh. What would I do with my days? Oh yes. Anything I wanted. Day in and day out. In any country I chose. We'd adopt a kid. What the hell. Maybe two. David would paint all day and someone would cook for us. And clean the bathrooms. I could taste it ya'll. (Not the bathrooms. Ew. The sweet lottery win.) I saw myself doing all those things. Alas. I didn't win the lottery that time. And I didn't win last night either. I had two numbers out of 6 though. How far do you think that would get me?