In lieu of There's this hilarious story I wrote for a college class, but I can't find any copies of it. My mom had it on her computer, but she got a new one and now can't open the file. I hope to find it soon and will post it when I do. Instead, I bring you the story of my morning, which is actually kinda funny. Not really funny ha ha, but funny ironic. Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALIAVALE!! It was dark when I opened my eyes this morning. That's because it was 6. Jasper was knocking stuff off my side table and just generally living up to his nickname The Stinky Man. (You understand he doesn't actually smell bad, right?) I got up to go to the bathroom, came back to bed. And just laid there. I couldn't go back to sleep. So I thought about what I'd do today. I'd been thinking about it for a couple days. I have a couple of turkey breasts to cook and take to work (We have our own Thanksgiving. Festive!). And I'd planned to write out some Christmas cards. After, of course, I'd looked at all the Black Friday ads. (Except the one for the farm supply store. I think it's safe to skip that one.) And generally be as festive as one person in a house with two cats can be. Because hey, I'm thankful for a lot of things. I'm a fortunate person. Anyway, so I'm laying there thinking about the day. I wondered if the paper was here yet. Probably not. It's not even light out yet! WHAT AM I DOING AWAKE?! I wanted to get up, but I knew I shouldn't. Why, you ask? Because you know that saying "Death never takes a holiday"? Well, my job is kind of like that. Just insert my career industry and a new saying is born. Where was I? Oh yeah. Working today. I won't get home until midnight. And I've found out from experience that if I get up at 6 or 6:30, I will run out of steam well before then. So I laid there and forced myself to go back to sleep. David got up and went to work. (Pitiful, ain't it? We're fine though, don't feel bad for us. Well, maybe just a little.) After he said good-bye, I drifted off for a few more minutes. When I woke up again, it was a little before 9 and Jasper was curled up next to me. Aww. He's a sweetie. Nevermind that I'll have to use several layers of the lint roller to get his hair (and Chloe's) off the bed. It's totally worth it. Then I remembered and grabbed for the phone. My whole plan may be ruined!! I dialed. David answered. "Please tell me you did not take the newspaper with you." "Erm, yeah. I did." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I wanted to look at the ads. I planned my whole day around it!" "Honey, I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking. I just grabbed it." Sobbing. GRR. The whole day! RUINED! OK, there wasn't really sobbing. Though a stray tear may have formed. (Again, not really.) But I was very sad! I thought, who's paper could I steal!? Then dismissed that thought because a. it would be wrong, right? and b. I don't think anyone else on our street gets the paper. (Losers!) So what could I do to save the plan? I'll have to go out and find one. I got up, threw on some clothes and hopped in the car. First store: gas station nearest our house. Out of papers. Hmm. This could be interesting. I figured I'd go to Sheetz. And on Thanksgiving, they give the coffee away. (Note to self: Go there before work.) But on the way there, I figured I'd have to be smarter than other people. Lots of people go to Sheetz. Of course they're probably going to be out of papers. Gas AND a convenience store. Hmm. Just then I passed a 7-Eleven. No gas to be had there. But I couldn't get to it easily. So I spied a gas station with only a little hut, no store. From the car, I could see a newpaper box. And hallelujah, there was a paper in it. Praying I had change, I u-turned and pulled in. I inserted my quarters and pulled open the box, while saying a little prayer. "Please let there be a paper with the ads in them." Because you know how people are. Sometimes, they pay for one and take more than that. A stack of thick newspapers greeted me. "Oh hello, little newspapers. You've just saved my day." See, there's so much to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.