A belated Mother's Day story I called my mom on Mother's Day like a good daughter. Actually, I called her, she didn't answer so I left a message. About an hour later, she called back but she didn't know I'd called. So I guess technically, my mom called me on Mother's Day. And I'm not even a mother unless you count the cats, which I used to. But it just doesn't seem right anymore. Besides the lazy babies didn't even get me a present. Anyway, that's really not the point of this story. We were talking about some ahem... colorful relatives that live near my mom. One of them said my mom runs her mouth, meaning she talks about people. Which I don't think is that true. She's not overly gossipy. Although now that I think of it, I do remember when I was little being told "Don't repeat anything you hear" a lot when she and her girlfriends were together. But so what. Everyone does that. Right? So we were talking about them (the colorful relatives) and mom said something like, "I don't know what's going to happen when someone else isn't paying the bills." (Hold on, maybe we do talk about people a lot. But they're our relatives, so we're allowed to talk about them. Plus, they're just mean people and it's OK to talk about mean people. Right?) The next thing mom said was "I guess she'll have to live in a van down by the river!" I thought to myself, did my mom just quote Chris Farley? Nah. Couldn't be. But then she said, "Bet you didn't think I knew about that, did you?" Nope. I sure didn't. "Who taught you that? I know you didn't see it for yourself." "See what?" she asked innocently. "Saturday Night Live, mom." "No, that's Chris Farley." Now I knew she didn't really know about it. She'd heard it somewhere. "Yes, I know it's Chris Farley. But how do you know about that?" "I read it on Nabbalicious." Well, how about that. I knew she wouldn't know that on her own. My mom is taking pop culture lessons from Nabbalicious. Next thing I know, she'll be swearing too. (That's a joke because she already has a potty mouth.) And then the plot thickened a little. Mom said she was at the restaurant/bar in our neighborhood with friends a few days after seeing "in a van down by the river" on Nabbalicious and referenced it to someone younger. He stared at her and said, "I can't believe you know about that." "Know about what?" my mom asked him. "Chris Farley." After she told me that story, she said, "And that's the only reason I know where it's from -- because that guy told me!" I admit to rolling my eyes, which I couldn't get it trouble for since she couldn't see me. But I also had a pretty good laugh from it. And in case she reads this, I'll have to add a reminder that she can't be mad at me for telling this story because I still have her present. AND I'm going to that bead show with her, which I've heard horror stories about. My sister went with her last time and said people push and shove. These women are serious about their jewelry-making supplies. The thing is though, my friend Erin and I got so excited when we saw the jewelry my mom has been making that we agreed to go to the bead show with her. I'll have to take the camera and get evidence of the angry-jeweler mob. But if anyone pushes or shoves me or steps on my toes, it's ON. Ha!