Because we want to I was telling a friend the other day about a trip David and I took to San Francisco. See, he (my friend, who I won't name to protect his identity) was planning to go to Paris with a girl he was "hanging out" with. I was asking him about the trip and telling him he was going to have a great time. He said "I guess." Flag. You don't say "I guess" about anything regarding a trip to Paris. By that, I wondered if he was worried about spending that much time with this girl. But I told him that just because they go there together doesn't mean they have to spend 24 hours a day together. They can have time apart. Then I started remembering the trip to SF. David won some plane tickets at his work Christmas party one year. We could go anywhere in the continental US. With Hawaii out, we decided to go to SF -- we wanted to go as far as we could. It was a fantastic trip. We went to Carmel and Monterey (on our anniversary) and to Napa and Sonoma. About the third day, after we'd been spending all day every day together, we decided that I would go shopping for a while and he would go get some tickets for an IMAX movie we were going to see that night and then he might go to an art museum and we'd meet back at the hotel later. The shops I wanted to go to were on the way to the IMAX movie, so he walked me there. We both stopped outside and started to say "See ya later!" but we both faltered at the last minute. "I don't want you to go!," I told him. He said he didn't want me to go either. So we decided he'd go buy the tickets and then come back and meet me at the mall. We were apart for about 20 minutes. Now before you say OH BARF, let me tell you this. We don't spend every waking moment together. We often work different hours, but fortunately we have the same days off. And we like being together. On Big Red Blog, Alyssa mentions couples who have been together so long that they have nothing left to talk about. We are not one of those couples (despite being together since 1993 -- married since 1999). That doesn't mean we're always talking. We're perfectly happy to sit quietly together and read or watch TV or whatever. The main thing is that we like being around each other. Even after all this time. My dad has some skewed visions of marriage and relationships in general. He's been married twice and neither worked out. Once to my mom... they were just way too young to be married. And the second time to a horrible woman. (Stereotypical stepmother.) He says he'll never get married again (although he's had the same girlfriend for 5 years). Right after we bought the house, he came to spend a week with us and help us do some little things. (What a Godsend to have a father who's a contractor.) Here's what I learned: He thinks being with someone means having to answer to them. "If I want to stop for a beer after work, I'll stop for a beer. I don't want to get anyone's permission." OK fine. David does what he wants. I don't need to know where he is every minute of every day. But what I wish I could make my dad understand is that David doesn't come home to me (or me to him) because he has to. He does it because he wants to. I'd rather be with my husband than with anyone else in the world. And I think that's what makes a good marriage.